Clover the Inventor

Have you ever thought life would be easier if you had a product or service that did not yet exist? I have. In fact I have a few "inventions" up my sleeve. Pinky swear you won't steal them and I'll share them with you. Okay, here goes:

1) The Make-Your-Own-Sushi sushi bar
Have you ever looked at a sushi menu and thought, man, that roll would be perfect if it had tobiko on it, or I wish that roll came in 6 pieces, not 4? Well at the Make-Your-Own-Sushi sushi bar, selecting your own sushi ingredients could be as easy as ordering extra cheese on your burger. And why have the chef limit you on how many pieces you get? Order 6, 13, 44! And sure, it might come out tasting gross, but that would be your fault, not mine.

2) The Dry Clean Shampoo
Imagine this: you wake up after sleeping over with this new guy you've been dating, and your hair is a mess. It's greasy, it's frizzy. Calamity! Or, you're running late and need to get to work fast, but you haven't washed your hair in six days. Solution: The Dry Clean Shampoo! Just spritz it in your hair and excess grease and dirt is instantly removed. Hair feels clean and fresh, with that just-washed feeling.

3) The Aroma Theater
Don't they say that smell plays a huge role in creating and recalling memories? Doesn't smell enrich your experiences? Think of your spa visits. Now imagine being engaged in a great scene in a movie and experiences aromas from the foods or objects from the movie. (Pleasant aromas, not odors.) Think how cool Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory would be! And wow, think of how much product placement Axe could do. Lol.

4) The Butt Guard
Ladies, how many times have been rubbed up on or groped in the club, or on the subway? Me, four times too many. It is an outrage and we must develop proactive solutions to this. Introducing the Butt Guard. The Butt Guard is a cushioned apparatus that fastens snugly around your posterior region to guard it from unwanted physical attention. The Butt Guard is soft, light, and portable. It's completely ergonomically safe and biodegradable. And if you call now, we'll even throw in our limited edition Hannah Montana print Butt Guard, signed by Oprah.

Okay, this one might not work.

5) The Portable Privacy Curtain
Are you a celebrity who just can't go on your coffee run without being mobbed by the paps? Or are you just a super private person who craves your own space in public? Do you just plain hate the way your face looks in the morning? Well, throw those oversized sunglasses away! With this curtain that you can pull shut around your head, no one will know who you are or how horrible you look. Comes with mesh holes for sight. Completely breathable.

Phew! That's all I got for now. Suggestions welcome.